This thing called Forgiveness?

I was informed that I hadn't written an entry in about a week.  I see that my wonderful followers are actually following me so I cannot disappoint! #shoutout to Ms. Skipper, ever vigilant!

So I'm hearing about this thing called FORGIVENESS... I'm being told that it clears your minds and sets you free.
I'm thinking "Why allow those people to think things are cool? So they can feel better about themselves?"
They say "It's not about them, it's about you. It's about establishing your own boundaries and creating your own peace."
I'm thinking "I'm all for peace of mind and all, but I dont see how me forgiving them helps me.  They should feel bad, guilty even, about being an a$$hole."
They say "Again, it's not about them. And you cannot determine how another person feels."
I make a face  :-(
They say "While you sitting here worried about what they are thinking and doing, you aren't focused on how you think and how you feel.  Worry about yourself.  Change that, stop worrying and live your life."
I started my bitter rebuttal...
But then they say "Let it go. You do not have to be their best friend. You don't have to speak or see that person anymore unless you want to. You decide.  You choose. Don't give one person so much power over you."
I'm listening...
They say "I know your heart, you don't need to carry those great big loads of hurt and pain.  Put the bags down and don't ever pick them back up.  You don't want to be 40yrs and still talking about $hit from your teens and 20s.  I'm sure you would rather grow from those situations rather than muddle around in them."
and because I'm listening, I hear them say...
"Haven't you ever done something you wish you hadn't done? Have you ever hurt someone intentionally or unintentionally? Wouldn't you want to be forgiven?"
(MESSAGE)

Okay... so I'll call it an emotional experiment.  My hypothesis: If I forgive those that hurt me and set firm boundaries for myself, then I should feel better and worry less. I guess it's worth a try, right?

I've been learning to live without you now
But I miss you sometimes
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning them again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore
- Heart of the Matter by India.Arie

Be well....
Mickel

"Every single time I wash my hands of him, I turn around and he is holding the towel"  -- Ms. Skipper