Length Retention Overhaul

This will be a long post, but it is about attaining and maintaining long natural hair... so it's okay!

If you know me, you know that I love sharing about my hair story/hair Journeys and anything I learn regarding natural hair maintenance.  I cut my locs out a little over 3 years ago (NOT A BIG CHOP) and have been growing my hair out freely since then. Many people say that I change my hair a lot. I don’t think that I do, because to me, it is always in a nappy, kinky, coily state (twists and afros).  I use the word “nappy” in a loving way to accurately describe my hair.  Until now, I was only concerned with the health and fullness of my hair and not so much concerned with the length. So length checks were casual and unnecessary and I didn’t really style my hair (updos, braids, curls, fancy stuff, etc.) unless I was attending an event or special occasion.

Now that my hair has grown passed my shoulders and I want to turn my focus to length retention. I have been reviewing YouTube and various Hair Blogs for tips on how to maintain and retain length.  My ultimate goal is to achieve waist length, stretched (not straightened) hair.  I have decided to start with keeping my hair as stretched as possible, incorporating protective styles throughout the winter months, and focusing on moisturizing & sealing my hair on (almost) daily basis.

I am passing some of the “long hair, does care” length retention tips I have found.

Acknowledge and Appreciate your Hair Achievements. Example of my Hair Achievements in the past 3 years of growth:

• Learned to accept my beauty with a Teeny Weeny Afro (TWA)
• Learned about my (various) curl patterns and hair type and how to manipulate/maintain my hair in a healthy way
• Learned which products and ingredient work best for my hair (and skin)
• Achieved jawbone length hair
• Learned to consistently achieve natural hair styling methods at every length of growth on my own without help from a professional or friend
• Achieved afro puff (pineapple) length
• Learned about what kinds of foods work best for my body and hair
• Learned how to prepare henna and color my hair naturally
• Achieved shoulder length
• Learned how to style using extensions/weave
• Achieved bra strap length

Recipes:

Apple Cider Vinegar (ACV) Rinse

• 1 part organic ACV
• 3 parts water
• Mix in a squeeze bottle and saturate scalp and hair with ACV rinse
• Gently scrub SCALP with PADS of fingers (not fingernails)
• Then rinse out (optional to wash out). Note: Optional to wash out if you plan to follow with additional hair treatments that require rinsing. The smell of ACV will fade after use of shampoo or conditioner.

Mayo Egg Conditioner Treatment

• 1 cup Mayo,
• 1 egg,
• ¼ cup Extra Virgin Olive Oil (organic or natural preferably)
• (Optional: 1 tbsp of clay, 1 tbsp of honey, 1 tbsp of coconut oil, half an avocado)

• Mix the ingredients and eliminate lumps until smooth.
• Cover hair (roots to ends) with conditioner treatment
• Place plastic conditioning cap and let sit in hair for at least an hour (heat optional)
• Rinse with lukewarm water. Hot water may cause egg to cook and stick to hair.

      

Leave-in Conditioner Recipe

• 1 oz Organic Aloe Vera Juice,
• 1 oz Leavein Conditioner,
• 1 tbsp of organic Jojoba Oil,
• 1 tbsp of Organic Castor Oil,
• 1 tbsp of hair cream
• Cover hair (roots to ends) with leave-in conditioner
• Style as usual

      

Protein Treatment

• 3 eggs
• ½ cup of Extra Virgin Olive Oil (organic or natural preferably)
• Mix together, then cover hair (roots to ends) with mixture
• Place plastic conditioning cap and let sit in hair for at least an hour (heat optional)
• Rinse with lukewarm water. Hot water may cause egg to cook and stick to hair.

Hair Care Tips (My own and from around the interweb):

• Drink Water, Wash/Cowash your hair, and use water when adding moisture to your hair.  Oils and creams are no substitute for water.
• Do not cut your hair or routinely trim/dust your ends. Only trim your hair as required or you will be constantly taking away from your length.
• Incorporate protective styles that last 1 to 4 weeks (or more). This includes braids, twists, buns, sew-in weaves, wigs, etc
• Incorporate low manipulation styles into your look – requiring little to no heat. This includes braids, twists, buns, sew-in weaves, wigs, puffs, heat-free curls and coils (Bantu knots, twist-outs, etc).
• Even when your hair is in low manipulation styles or protective styles, make sure you do a moisture retention regiment at least once a week.  Examples: Use a hair steamer, do a hot oil treatment, wash your hair, do the LOC Method, etc
• The less you touch your hair between washes the better.
• Do not pull hair too tightly for braided, twisted or weaves styles
• Little to No heat: No curling irons, blow dryers, hot combs… I will use a hair steamer or heat cap for conditioning
• Deep condition as often as you wash/co-wash your hair
• Practice Patience and forgive yourself for mistakes or blunders
• Try Silica, Biotin, HairFINITY
• Try hot oil treatments with natural oils (i.e., coconut oil, jojoba oil, EVOO, Sweet Almond, Avocado, Grapeseed, etc)
• After washes, between hairstyles, and as a nighttime routine, make sure to moisturize (water or leavein) and seal (oil) your hair.
• Try the LOC method, Liquid + Oil + Cream or Leave-in + Oil + Cream, to moisturize and seal hair.
• Try the Maximum Hydration Method (MHM)
• Be mindful of the tools you use in your hair. Do not pull hair ties too tight, do not pull or push hair pins harshly through hair or into scalp, be conscious of using rubber bands to hold hair in place (roots or ends)
• Try a seamless wide tooth comb
• Put the tools down and try finger detangling.
• Detangle when hair is wet and saturated with conditioner (for slip). Try not to comb or pick your hair when it is dry
• Embrace your shrinkage!  That is what gives your hair volume and density.
• Stick to a healthy hair regiment (wash, condition, deep condition, and hair treatment that work for you when needed) and nightly routine (moisturize, put hair away, and satin cap)

      

My daily moisture retention routine (I typically do this at night or whenever my hair needs to be moisturized between washes)

• I separate my hair into 4 -10 sections, depending on the desired maintenance/hair style.
• I spritz a section of my hair with water, add a leave-in conditioner, then finger detangle.
• I add a homemade oil mixture then finger detangle.
• I add a homemade Shea butter mixture cream, then finger detangle.
• Next, I will two-strand twisting my hair.
• At this point I can (1) let my hair dry and then release the twists and go, (2) use bobby pins and create a twisted up-do, or (3) put on a satin cap and go to bed.

Products I’m using right now

• Homemade Shea butter and Coconut butter Mix
• Various homemade Oil Mixtures
• Trader Joes Tingling Tea Tree Oil Conditioner
• Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Moisture Retention Shampoo OR
• Shea Moisture Jamaican Black Castor Oil Strengthen,
• Shea Moisture Grow & Restore Leave-In Conditioner
• Mayo & Egg Deep Conditioner
• Henna from Mehandi.com for gray coverage
• Homemade Rhassoul and Benonite Cleansing Clay mixture
• Secura Hair Steamer

This was a long post (told you!), but if you want to know more, just ask me :-)

Be well... Mickel

My thoughts on natural hair right now...

Protect (save) your hair, not the style.


I am the most naturally beautiful woman I know. I seek to obtain the highest level of my own standard of beauty and do not wish to attain anyone else’s beauty traits.  Develop your own standard of beauty, and then set yourself on top of it.

You are not Tracee Ellis Ross so you cannot have Tracee Ellis Ross’ hair, but you can practice attaining Tracee Ellis Ross’ hairstyle. Fill in your own hair crush’s name.

I am waiting for the day that being called a “natural girl” is unnecessary.  I would like for curly/kinky/nappy hair to be a viewed as regular everyday hair, no different from straight blonde hair. I want it to be as desirable as straight blonde hair seems to be.

No other race is referring to themselves as “naturals”.  When I think about it, all my black/blackish ex-boyfriends were all “naturals”.  A lot of my coworkers (non-blacks) have all been “naturals”. Hell, most of the people we interact with are “naturals” but they just consider themselves to be regular people with regular, yet diverse, hair. I want my curly/kinky hair to be considered regular hair like everyone else. 

Do you think of my perspective right now? 

Be well... Mickel

Online dating

Happy New Year... New Year, Same Life, Best Intentions

So, I've been participating on an online dating site for almost a year. That's a big deal for me because I consider myself to be kind of private and I didn't think too highly of virtual dating. I preferred to meet naturally, at a party or through friends, and not by logging into some internet-based potluck... it was weird to me.  But after graduating from Tuskegee Univ (insert "Ball and Parlay"), moving back to the East Coast, and attempting to get back into the dating game... I was hit with a series of unfortunate events.  I was stood up three times in three months, a long time crush rejected my advances, and one of the worst people I had ever met in my life shared with me that he were getting married and had a kid on the way.  That last incident was easily predictable, but still, he was/is an asshole.... Even assholes get happy endings. But I digress.
I decided one evening that in order to get different results, maybe I should try something different.  My brother wants me to date outside of my race. I'm still reflecting on that possibility.  Instead, I logged onto a popular dating site and set up a cute little profile.  It has been almost a year and now I'm ready to rant about a few things.  Here goes:

1. Why do men want a pics so badly? Stop asking for pictures.  I do not care why you want one or that you did not ask for a "sexual" one. You made a simple request and I gave you a simple answer of NO. Do not press the issue, do not try to guilt trip me, do not explain why I should reconsider, and (here is a big one) do not assume that I had some traumatic incident in my past that made me bitter.  You are a stranger... It weirds me out... I do not want to... No... No, thank you... I'm not into that form of communication...  Pick the reason that keeps you warm at night and let it go.

2. Please stop lying about your height. Please do not say you are 5'9" when in fact you are 5'3".  Be honest.  Yes, a lot of women will skip over your profile but that's life.  Someone will stop and like what the see and everything that they read.  And when that person opts to meet you in real life, they want you to be who you say you are.

3.  Not every man is a " cool, laid-back kind of guy"... Who are you really? Explain who you are and try not to be cliche.

4.  I have learned that my personal preference as it pertains to physical appearance walks the line of being shallow.  Thankfully, my value system keeps it in check.... however, I am not feeling the heavy men, the shorter than 5'8" men, the men who are 15 years+ my senior. If my profile states a certain kind of physical attribute, then I'm certain that that is what I like.

5. Have some respect for yourself and put some clothes on.  While the aesthetics are interesting, I frown upon someone so willing to pass pieces of themselves out to anyone with a mousepad.  Modesty is an attractive quality in men too!

6. TLDNR (Too Long Did Not Read) is one of my favorite internet slangs... It could be used to describe my own posts on here... If a man sends a super long diary passage as his first message to me, it makes me wonder why he has all this time on his hands.

7. Be patient.  There are no guidelines governing internet that say I have to respond to you or respond in a certain time.  Be patience and respect the fact that, just like you, I have a life.

8.  Men who describe themselves as God-fearing or a man of christ or something along those lines... do not appeal to me.... it is actually a yellow flag for me for some reason.  If someone makes it a point to stress their religion and how important it is to them, I usually tell them that we are not compatible.

9.  Having a child or children is cool.  I respect and adore fatherhood and family.  Having a child or multiple children with women you did not intend to marry, red flag.  Having a child and not being involved in the day-to-day upbringing of that child, red flag.  Guilt tripping women who do not want to date fathers, red flag.  AND... asking a woman to give up their own dream of having a large family because you already have a certain number of children, absolutely insane.  If you already have another household of children, how can you devote yourself to any hypothetical family we could have?

10.  Be appropriately direct and respectful.  Ask me on a date if you think there is actual compatibility between us. I am not on this site to make friends, I want to go out on dates with men that suit me.  Asking for my number, ok sure... that's fine. Talking on the phone is a natural progression.  But I get bored with the niceties too... Say something interesting and honest when you talk to me, share stories and ask questions that clue you into the type of person I am and vice versa... Then if it makes sense ask me out.  But be prepared for a let down... maybe I'm not attracted to you or maybe I need more time... in that case, know when to either be patient or kick rocks.  Respect yourself while respecting the stranger you've been flirting with for the past week and half.

11.  Take me out. Even if it is just a pre-date.  Not sure you want to spend a lot of money?? That's fine.  Walks in the park are free.  Grabbing a tea or coffee is cheap. Sometimes the effort means a lot more than the money.  It doesn't even have to be interesting... if we hit it off, save that for the real first date... But if you want to meet me, act like it.

12.  You may not be as funny as you think you are... Be mindful that your jokes may be offensive, insensitive, taken seriously, or just not funny....  Remember that you are talking to a complete stranger... What is good for the goose, isn't always good for the gander.

13.  If your username or profile has a overtly sexual undertone, don't message me.  Instead go to Craigslist and post a classified ad in the "Seeking" section. I'm sure you will get better hits that way.


That's all I have so far but I reserve the right to come back to this rant.  Just like in real life, the men from online dating come in waves. Armed with my values, life experiences, and personal preferences, I think I have a decent filtration system in place.  I actually cannot complain to much (lmao) because I've actually met some good, attractive men from this site.

Take care & Be good!

Mickel

From weave to wig?

I saw this video and I think it is really interesting... Using weave to make a wig.

I could see this as a protective style option for natural hair...  like the days when you decide to deep condition for a long time but do not feel like styling your hair.

Anyhow, I LOVED the shape and styling of this homemade wig.  Maybe I'll try it.  Check it out for yourself.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0o4yJ7aAdjY&feature=related


Take care!
Mickel

"I love it... I don't understand it, but I love all of it anyway"

Not a fan of the Big Chop... but I digress

For women that are transitioning into wearing their hair naturally, I would not recommend the process of the big chop. I think the Big Chop or "BC" is dramatic change that leaves women with no hairstyling or maintenance options. Especially for women who are unfamiliar with styling or maintaining their own hair. A lot of women do not know how to deal with their own hair when it's straight and easy to manipulate. Hence, the expensive trips to the beauty shop for a simple wash and curl or (my personal favorites) the women who get harm perms then still put their hair in a partial/full weave... To go from a perm to nearly bald is not a wise choice, especially if the standard of beauty is "long hair don't care"... and worst yet, the skill set is that of a five year old playing with her barbie's hair... I think transitioning women should use the transition time to learn how to put their hair into protective styles that do not require weaves, wigs, or extensions. They should also learn how to complete these styles with little to no heat (no blowdryer, curling iron, flat iron or pressing comb). These styles would includes various curl, braid, and twist styles. Check out my natural hair guide book for more descriptive style choices... but i digress... The transition time would also be better spent un-learning the unhealthy hair tips and practices from prior weaved or permed styles. Water... GOOD. Perms...BAD. Extra Virgin Olive Oil... GOOD. Mineral oil or petroleum... BAD. The newly natural should spent time becoming more familiar with natural products and ingredients that may benefit their hair in its most natural state. As the hair grows out naturally and the newbies become more confident in their ability to style and maintain their hair, then it would make sense them cut off the permed and damaged ends. . I subscribe to many channels on youtube. I happen to like this young lady's videos. I don't follow every step of her regiment, but her methods are pretty good and I happen to agree with many the points of this video. Take a look.... 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7ouKM2v6Uc&feature=g-vrec

Don't get me wrong. Some women look great and have the confidence, patience and skill to chop off their hair and keep it moving.  But in my honest opinion, most women do not have those qualities...
To be even more honest, I think a lot of women go natural for the wrong reasons or they are lying to themselves when they say they think they look beautiful when they have transitioned to natural.
I think they cut off their hair because of a bad break up, a huge fight with their mother... some emotional event lead them to want to do something drastic.... and stupid... like cutting off their hair.  Your hair loss doesn't fix anything.
Then there are the women go natural but don't like how they look.  They start wearing a lot more make-up or bigger pieces of jewelry to avoid "looking like a boy".  That's just low self-esteem and a disconnect between you and your standards of beauty.
The worst to me are the women who go natural by slapping a weave in your head.  What is natural about a weave? It may not be my business, but it's my blog and I feel like you are cheating.  Going natural is a process.  It requires blood, sweat and tears!  Well not actually, but you get what I'm saying.... You can't claim to love your natural beauty if you are wearing   high quality indian hair... hair that does not resemble your god given texture.
Now to be fair, yes, I've cut off all my hair.  It was so short it resembled the aftermath of Big Chop scenario.  But I've been natural my entire life. I've practiced many natural styles and am nearly an expert at whipping my hair into whatever style I want without the use of heat or damaging products.  I eat pretty well (I'm a vegetarian nowadays) and drink plenty of water... I know which products benefit me.... I cut my hair off because I wanted short hair. Nothing drastic or emotional about it.  I wanted a change that I had contemplated for months about and the decision fit my lifestyle and skill set.  Most importantly, I believe that I am beautiful they way the creator made me.  Every part of me is natural and I love it.  I know that my short hair doesn't make me less feminine.  I do not look like a man.  I feel as attractive as I did with my afro, or pressed hair, or full head of twists, or my full head of locs... because the underlying point is, I think I am beautiful just as I am.  It doesn't take much effort when my standard of beauty is me.

Be well,
Mickel :-)

"It's just an opinion, everybody has one."

Natural Hair 101: An excerpt from my guidebook

I was inspired to offer a little more encouragement to the courageous women who are aspiring to go natural (Do it, do it, do it!!) I have created a natural hair guide book, "Natural Hair 101: Toolkit,  Fundamentals, and Resources", complete with a listing of essential tools, products, images and greater resources. If you are interested in a full copy of the guidebook, feel free to contact me via e-mail at MickelJustMickel@gmail.com

My Hairstory

I have been natural (no perm) my entire life thanks to the traditions of the women in my family. No perms for the Jackson girls (Thanks Grandmama!) I say that because I have never experienced “The Big Chop” nor do I understand the difference between 4a hair and 3b hair.  I have, however, experienced the teasing and culturally insensitive comments from people not accustomed to seeing a black child wear her hair as god intended her to.  This includes Caucasians and PEOPLE OF COLOR (Black, Asian, Latino, etc).  The women in my family were natural before it was the cool, acceptable, or “black” thing to do.  My sister and I would beg our mother to perm our hair, tears streaming down our little faces, and she refused.  I secretly prayed for “white girl hair” for years (right after praying boobies and my own room).  I just wanted to be able to get wet in the pool or rain like the white kids I saw all around me. I grew up partially in North Dakota, which is not (big surprise) the epicenter of black pride. I did not want to be forced to sit in my mother’s lap for four hours as she carved these intricate braided designs into my tender scalp.  I did not enjoy the fear of 2nd and 3rd degree burns on the back of my ears when my mother mis-calculated the heat of the pressing comb in the three hours (plus) that it took to make my hair conform to a more accepted straight style.  In the 4th grade, I blurted out that I wished I were white so I could have “good hair” and my mother lost it.  Thus begun my education into the importance of maintaining my hair in its natural state, the countless lectures on why I should be thankful that I do not have a perm and why it is important to love and respect my black skin and others that look just like me, and the influx of little black dolls and African American children’s books. Whatever “black and proud” item my mother could find, made it into my bedroom. Remember this was North Dakota pre-internet.  My mother taught me how to wash, condition, braid, cornrow, and press my own hair. Then made me solely responsible for maintaining my sister’s hair after I proved that I could maintain my own.  My mother is the mastermind of my hairstory.  

Naturally Maintained Locs

Natural Curly Afro

A moment in my head space... Dreams

When I was a child I used to have very wild vivid dreams.  Many were so vivid that I remember them to this day.  While driving up I-95 this morning, my mind began recalling one of the most paralyzing dreams from my youth.  I became so emotional that I contemplated pulling over until I could better control my tears.  I can say that I've had this dream about 4 times, while there were variations from dream to dream, it had the same theme, same plot, same characters, and unfortunately the same ending.
The dream focused on my siblings and I.  We were alone, traveling in search of safety, in these strange and dangerous worldly settings. Everything, and I mean everything, in those worlds was trying to get us.  We traveled through thick jungles were the incest flew about trying to capture or impale us, the trees and their poisonous vines ripped at our limps, and the animals stalked our every move waiting for us to be vulnerable... Or we were in a the desert land where monstrous sand storms appear out of no where ripping us away from each other or confusing our paths.... I remember a poisonous river with underwater creatures that would beckon us to drink.  Or wild rapids that would cause the water reach up and rock our makeshift boats to the point that we feared being capsized.... The ending would always be the same.  We would arrive at the base of some volcanic crater... millions of miles wide, millions of miles deep, hot and molten debris brewing around us.  For some reason we had to enter inside and walk across this stone path in order to finally make it to safety.  Each of the other impossible lands, I was responsible for getting my brothers and sister to safety.  We would be badly injured, limping and/or burned, but alive and hopeful.  But always at the end of this dream, just moments from safety, we would come to some impossible to cross section of the stones.  I would realize that for some reason, all of us would not be able to make it out alive.  Either our combined weight would begin to sink the stones into the lava, or I was the only one strong enough to lift the boulder blocking the path... something that indicated that if I continued with my siblings, one or all of them would surely to die.  Sadly, at the end of every dream I would realize this grave truth and with great sorrow and tremendous love, I would bark out orders of survival, kiss and hug them goodbye, and demand that they keep moving and not look back for me.  I would always have to sacrifice myself for them.  I would watch them running away in tears as I awaited my fate thinking that it was my duty to save and protect them.
I'd wake up crying... shaking and sweating.  Despite also being afraid of the dark, I'd brave the dark hallways of my house  to find my mother.  She'd sit up concerned and frantic at the sight of my swollen face and ask me what's wrong.  All I could say was "Mommy I don't want to die" and fall into her bed.  I'd sleep with her until I felt safe again.

So I'm crying as I write this blog... I still get that sinking feeling in my stomach when thinking about that particular dream.  Again, I've had that dream on more than one occasion and that's not even the longest running or scariest of them...

After my mini-break down in the car, I start to think about the meaning of the dream.  The imagery is crazy and defies physics, but there is always a meaning behind your dreams.  I come to the conclusion that these dreams were warning signs to me.  If you were to look back on my childhood, you would see many examples of sacrifices I needed to make so that my siblings would be taken care of... Leading by example, giving up multiple summer for unpaid babysitting.  No extracurricular activities outside of school academic functions, no movie trips, no shopping trips, no name brand clothes or shoes, no eating out, no privacy, no bad grades EVER, no room to myself, because if I didn't share... if I didn't stay home.... if I didn't take small/equal size portions, then my siblings would have suffered.  I was a kid so of course I complained about things being unfair... I didn't like getting only 3 gifts for Christmas but I knew there wasn't a Santa Claus and I knew my parents were headed for splits-ville and I knew my mother really needed me... so eventually I just sucked it up and did what I could to help.

I take the title of BIG SISTER very seriously.  I may argue with my siblings to the point of seeing red.... but I've known for a long time now, that I'd sooner die than to see harm come to them.

Be Well,
Mickel

"Red pen and sharpener" by Mickel
#2 pencil on paper
-This is a sketch I did on my lunch break a couple weeks ago...

It's my blog and I'll ramble if I want to...

This post is probably going to be a rambling of many things.  I have written on here in a while but that just means A LOT of things have been happening in my life.  In no particular order, let me just share...

So.... not to my surprise my employer laid me off this past spring!  I am thankful that I had the foresight to see it coming.  I think I was the only person who recognized the signs of "a reduction in force", knew that they were a candidate, and was elated to be paid to leave (plus transitional support). I could not get out of that office fast enough after signing the paperwork to guarantee my severance pay. I think they thought I was going to put up a fight. I might have actually been pop-locking out of the door! I was smart enough to have paid off all of my debts and have a little bit of a financial reserve.  Thank goodness for my mother's relentless lectures of financial responsibility. I hated my job.  I hated waking up early, just to lie in bed for another hour, trying to encourage myself to start the day. Here is my schedule:

Get up,
drive 40mins,
do nothing of importance,
be slightly discriminated against,
FACEBOOK,
drive 40mins,
arrive safely at home,
start my real life,
go to bed,
REPEAT.

I really hated my job.  I never felt comfortable there.  My boss was never an ally and his boss only did enough to cover her behind when things got "fuzzy".  They didn't care whether you had any training, or whether you knew anything about the products they engineered, just as long as you came to work, didn't ask too many questions, and drove a project to completion by any mean necessary but without spending any money.  Oh well... :-)

Oh quick shout out to all my Spring born babies (March, April, May, and I guess part of June?).  If I ever referred to you as a friend or as family, know that I love you and wish you all the happiness.  One of these birthday havers told me that they don't really celebrate their birthday. If fact, they said "It's no big deal. Everyone has a birthday."  I responded under my breath with "But not everyone gets to celebrate it." Not everyone was fortunate enough to see their birthday this year. Not everyone makes it to 31 or 25 or 16... So know that I love and respect you all.  My heart has so much happiness and sheer joy  that even the non-believer can feel my love! I'm flooding each and everyone's birthday with hope, promise, and laughter... Happy Birthday Sister! Happy Birthday Wesley! Happy Birthday Bennie-Mae! Happy Birthday Lawrence! Happy Birthday Dashawn, Danica, and Idi (the trifecta) and Happy Birthday Mia!  Happy Birthday to you all! Okay... I'll bring it down a notch.

Um... so this is a warning to all good intentioned people.  Don't trust Craigslist.  Specifically don't trust people for Valdosta Ga who post craigslist ads looking for friendship and housing but then decide to become overly aggressive and stop paying their rent.  I intended to help this person get back on their feet, what I got was a maniac with a nicotine addiction.  The road to hell is paved with good intentions.  Get background checks on everybody.  Children too!

So... back to be laid off really quick.  So remember how I said I was laid off this past spring (I did say that, you weren't listening).  Well, I prayed that I would find another opportunity that better fit my aspirations of becoming a better engineer but that also fit with my growing desire for a new lifestyle.  It's funny how you consciously make decision for yourself and build this sturdy little life that you think will make you happy.  You try living that life... that life you built for yourself with your fancy education and your beautiful new house.  You try to find love and happiness within that life, but it's not working.  You look around this comfortable little life you have, surrounded by all your family and friends, and it's just not what you want anymore.  You love your family and friends, you love your little house, your love all the things you love, but this life isn't the life you need.  You crave for something else.  You crave the other sense of yourself that is a bit less practical and a lot more rewarding.  So I prayed constantly for something else to capture me. To take me away from what I know and who I know. And again, not to my surprise, my CREATOR answered my prayer.  Can't say that the worrier in my didn't panic and cry like a baby when I didn't see it unfolding in my life right away... but while I was praying, I was also planning and working on that plan.  The Creator helps those who help themselves, right?  So they laid me off and now, not only do I have a new position, but also an opportunity to go to graduate school for free!  All I had to do was believe that everything would be fine, figure out what I could do to make the situation better, and then leave all the stress behind me.  Go Figure!

I celebrated my one year loc-a-versary on May 14th by completing a Natural Hair Care Guidebook!!! Look for an upcoming blog.


Well, that's my story...

Be Well,

.: Mickel :.

"I worry, therefore I am!"

Fear of Flying.

I visited the blog page of recent follower Ms.Witherspoon.  I read her blog entry title "To PhD or Not To PhD" and felt a connection to her story.  Her high aspirations for returning to school coupled with the fear of failure mirrored my own story.  I was compelled to write a comment in response.  (Of course, for some  reason, my internet connection is not allowing me to post to her blog page.  I sent her a facebook message instead... I'll try again from a different computer).  Read my comments to Ms. Witherspoon below:

"For some reason, I was not able to post to your blog so I am writing here… We share a few similarities that I wanted to share with you. I loved school (minus the popularity contests and not having a car). I excelled in math and science and participated heavily in after school activities, including JROTC where I became a decorated officer. When it came to college, I initially struggled through some of my classes. Some engineering related and some liberal arts related. While I rebounded from poor grades, I also had trouble finding a balance as an adult. All of those setbacks and obstacles led me to question myself and ultimately become a bit insecure.
I have a strong desire to go back to school for a master’s degree in engineering or business management. I realized that “on the job training” and "real world" engineering is not as much fun as what I learned in school. If I really wanted to make a difference and do something worthwhile I needed to catapult myself into a senior engineering or executive role. Which, of course, requires more training.
I was accepted into engineering program, but after nearly 4 years out of school, I could not catch on to the technical work and did not have the time necessary to devote fully to studying like I used to. I was then accepted into another engineering program, but opted not to go because I was wary of the whether the program was what I was looking for. I began thinking about my long-term goals. I wanted to own and managed an art gallery. I wanted to invest in and maintain real estate. I wanted to be involved with people and be more in control of my career. Through some self-assessment, I decided that a business school would be more ideal for me. But now I’m dragging my feet. I am terribly afraid that I cannot cut it. Engineering can be mentally draining but that is a type of drain that I am used to. I know the lingo, I know the format.... What I do not know I can research and study until the answer is apparent. I’m afraid that the world of business if just too fast for me. I question whether I have the leadership, attention to detail, or initiative for that level of work. I psych myself out because I am truly terrified of failing.
My mother wishes she had her master’s degree, 5 children and a cabinet full of awards for her work as a graphic illustrator, but she tells me constantly that she wishes she’d continued her education. I have no doubt that she will eventually go back when the last of my siblings gets through high school, but some of the benefits of an advance degree will have decreased by then.
With that being said, I am still setting myself up for this potential failure. I have registered for the GMAT, began the application, and started an unpaid internship with a start up business just to give myself some confidence as I move closer to the tremendous goal. I don’t know how I’m paying for school yet, but I am applying for it anyway. I don’t know how I will get there and still maintain my full-time job, but I am applying for it anyway. I just keep thinking, I do not want to be wishing for the same dream 20 years from now when all I had to do was try and keep trying.
I am going to post this on my blog…
Just wanted to share my own story with you and encourage you to get over that fear just like I am attempting to do. You will not be in that small town forever. What great things do you see for yourself in the future? How do you plan to achieve them? Start now."

 
I encourage you all to read her blog post and think about your own dreams and aspirations. What are you doing to make those dreams real?


Be well,
Mickel


"I am a success today because I had a friend who believed in me and I didn't have the heart to let him (or her... lol) down..." -Unknown (edits by Mickel)